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When faced with choices, some people are guided by logic, others are guided by feelings (intuition); but most people are guided by a combination of both.

The actual proportion of feelings and logic put into the decision process is different from one person to another, and even for the same person it is not the same all the time.

How does this matter? What is the difference between people who use more intuition and those who use more logic? Apparently, those who use intuition and are guided by feelings in their choices tend to be happier than those who use logic. You may want to give intuition a try if one of your goals is to be happy and you don’t seem to make progress as fast as you’d like to .

Where do I start?

If you don’t know how to use intuition, or if you think you don’t have any, you should know that intuition is a skill. And that’s good news. It can be learned, and the more it’s practiced, the better it gets. Everyone has some basic intuition skill, although sometimes it’s difficult to recognize it, especially for people who are under stress.

Intuition is closely related to feelings. When faced with decisions, each option has a different “feel” attached to it. The skill is to recognize the feeling attached to each option. After that, decision is really easy.

Perhaps the best way to explain this is with some examples.

Example 1: Should I go for this new job offer?

You just got a new job offer - to make it simpler, we assume it’s final, non-negotiable. There are only two options: accept it or decline it. Your logic is cluttered with lots of facts that make it really difficult. It pays better, but you’re not sure you’re ready to move to a new place. You will have a better status (title), but you may get that in the current job too in a couple of months anyway. It’s a really good company that will look great on your CV and you’ll be able to get virtually any job after such an experience, but are you ready to give up everything you built in your current job? All these facts: money, friends, hustle, status, environment, future opportunities, ethics - fight in your head, create stress, and you are really undecided and afraid you might make the wrong decision and regret it later.

Instead of thinking so hard about it, balancing advantages and disadvantages, try another approach. Sit down, take a deep breath and try to clear your head. Then think about the whole situation, how you got there, why you got there. You may find that the situation is the result of several wrong decisions - it does not matter now. What matters now is how it can change. Think of each option, and as you think of it, mentally take a step back and notice your feelings as you contemplate that option. Most of the times, one of the options has feelings of easiness, tranquility, relief, maybe even happiness. The other option feels like urgency, rushing, confusion, uneasiness, stress. The decision is really simple in this case - go for the good feelings.

For beginners however, there is a pitfall: to mistake the lack of courage for easiness and relief. After you practice a few times, you will easily and effortlessly distinguish between the two, but in the beginning, ask yourself: do you choose to stay in the current job because you are afraid to confront your manager? This may feel like easiness and tranquility, but actually it’s lack of courage. Do you choose a new job because the situation at your current job is a hopeless mess (that perhaps you helped create) that you feel is your duty to fix? At the same time, stupidity must not be taken for courage. Don’t try to fix things that are hopeless in the name of courage, and don’t jump into things that take a lot of courage but somehow don’t blend with your ways. When in doubt, give yourself some more time. Five minutes with yourself are worth more than five hours with friends, relatives etc - which does not mean you shouldn’t listen to what they have to say.

Most times, things will be very clear as to what option to choose. But sometimes, no matter how intently you listen to your feelings, all options seem to generate the same unhappy outcome. You may be tempted to choose “the lesser of two evils”. Well, sometimes you may have to do that, but other times there is also another way, which is hidden because of previous conditioning (social, cultural etc). If you really have trouble choosing between the two jobs and you feel both like a necessary evil, maybe you should consider changing your career. Maybe it’s best to stick to the current job and avoid the hustle until you sort things out and decide what to do. Or maybe you should choose the new job, as that will give you more time to think about your life. Intuition based choices are always subjective, and you are the only one that can answer the question. No matter what friends say, if your heart says otherwise, you have to be brave enough to do what you feel it’s right, and have the courage to assume responsibility for your choice.

You never regret feelings-guided choices. People might say “I told you so”, but you’ll never regret it because:

• you did what you thought was the right thing; maybe your logic said the other thing was right, but you thought it was better to be guided by feelings, so you ended up doing what you thought was the right thing, right?
• if you had done differently, nobody can guarantee that the outcome would have been better. At most, some people may evaluate what your situation would have been “if…”, but probably you don’t like to listen to those people, what do they know anyway?

This was a big scale example, but there are “smaller” decisions to be made too. You make decisions every day, so there are plenty of opportunities to practice your skill. Let’s take another example.

Example 2: Should I go out to the pub with friends tonight, or see that new movie I bought yesterday?

Again, step back, breathe and think. Which of the thoughts gives you easiness and tranquility, and which of the thoughts gives you uneasiness, confusion, urgency? If, after taking the time to study the feelings attached to the options, none of the two particularly appeals to you, ask yourself why that is. Maybe it’s the wrong movie? Or the wrong friends? Or is it that you’d like to go out, but are kind of short on money right now? Or you aren’t short on money either, but just don’t like to pay four times the supermarket price for a beer? Or, maybe you are fine spending money (that’s what it’s for after all, isn’t it?), and you enjoy the company of friends too, but would rather go out with that girl that’s been on your mind? How would you feel calling her? Maybe you want some time for yourself to figure out what you want, no movie, no friends, just you meditating. There are many options, and none of them is good or bad in general. Find what feels right for you and do that.

It’s a subjective process. Choose the options that have feelings similar to:

• easiness
• tranquility
• relief
• happiness

Avoid the options that feel like:

• urgency
• confusion
• rushing
• stress
• uneasiness

By practicing, you get better and better and within weeks or even days you will start to see things differently. Your state of mind will change. You will find that the choices that feel right are the ones that bring happiness in your life.